Georgia Finds a Season

I thought last week was like a bad episode of the Jerry Springer show. It was hard enough to speak of bulldogs without thinking of them as some sort of branch kin. Now I’ve got to make fun of a team with a close Bulldawg family member at the helm. Writing these stories isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I may say a lot of things in this story, but none of them will be about a certain little, baby, Dooley. Barbara will not be getting on me, I assure you.
So it turns out Georgia had a football season all along, it was simply hiding under a rock in Tennessee. The game was kind of a nail biter, but we really had it from start to finish. It was a little hard to watch seeing as how we didn’t know we had it, until we did. I didn’t breathe until Mark started across the field. There was that time early in the game where an official decided a leg touching the ball was more a sign of possession that two hands gripping it. Then in the forth, we were 4th and 57, I’ve never seen that before and don’t want to see it again. I almost started drinking, smoking and cussing again in a matter of just a few minutes. How about that Tennessee player who ran a football that had been dead so long it was decomposing, all the way to the goalposts, good Lord. Can’t say we didn’t have a chance to throw the game away, cause we did, I’m glad we didn’t take it.
There was never any doubt that Tennessee arrived to play football. I may joke about the caliber of a team’s players and or their cheerleaders. There was never a question which was which. Those boys played their hearts out, I salute them.
I was in the Navy years ago and learned that NAVY stands for never again volunteer yourself. Man, it feels good to say these next words, who wants to volunteer to have their behind kicked by Georgia? Well maybe their quarterback who is from California. Poor kid volunteered to move to Tennessee and then volunteered to have his behind kicked. I’ve got one word for ya Bray, NAVY.
The coaching staff for Tennessee probably started back to drinking, smoking or whatever vices they may have had, after last night’s game. Wait Barbara; before you get on me, I’m sure Derek never did all those things in the first place. I’m pretty sure he did everything right and stood outside the stadium after the game helping little old ladies cross the street.
I’ve got a feeling this game will get harder to watch each year, knowing the cloth Derek is cut from and the future he certainly has in the SEC. Let’s just hope it isn’t a future which includes a long winning streak against us, we’ve had enough of that.
“Can’t run the ball, if we can’t run the ball, we’re not going to beat good SEC teams.”
“We’ll get em, our time will come, we’re not there yet.” Derek Dooley
Is there any chance in the grand scheme of thing he’ll end up in Georgia one day? That’s about as likely as fast food restaurants getting your order right; it’s nice to think about, but just doesn’t happen. All the planets would need to line up perfectly and that only occurs once every million years or so. Besides we want Mark to have his chance to go down in Bulldawg history as a Bulldawg legend. Derek Dooley will have his day, in his way, somewhere in the SEC and you can tell his Mom I said so, please.
We got Uga or we’re supposed to, they have a dog too, Smokey, is a blue tick hound. Basically that’s an old dog who hunts, fishes, smokes, drinks, plays cards and has those funky redneck teeth. Was that about Smokey or the cheerleaders, I lost my place for a moment? Wait, wait, wait, I forgot his more important functions, he’s the teams math tutor, he’s the cheerleader’s make up consultant, he’s the faculty’s confidant and the team’s best shot at a Heisman trophy winner.
So now we need to get ready for Vanderbilt, which I think consists of eating a few Varsity chili dogs, drinking a few fruit smoothies, playing a scrimmage game against a high school team and getting our cheerleaders hair and nails done.
“I just want you to be nice and fair and know you probably got the greatest coach in the country.” Barbara Dooley. You go Barbara, when Mark is ready to retire and if we can’t have Derek when he’s gone, my vote is cast for you.