Naming Names

When I was young, I bragged about being able to drive half way across the state without ever touching a paved road, those days are gone. Now, one can go to Atlanta, and once they get on Martin Luther King Boulevard, they can travel across several states without getting off of it. There are 777 streets and everything else you can imagine, named after him.
There are so many things named after American Presidents that the internet provides this disclaimer with any information supplied on the subject. Sorry this question cannot be answered effectively and is constantly being updated. If you have any information, please contribute. I did find out that more things are named for Woodrow Wilson than for any other president. Why?
Okay, I do understand these; I’m not quite as thick as a brick. But while researching this, I did come across a few I don’t understand. How about Bubba Gump, Lane, Walk This, Way, Not A, Street or The Long And Winding, Road? On that last one, the streets of the entire neighborhood are named after Beetles songs. There is an entire community in Spain where the streets are named for the characters from the Mario Brothers video game.
I hate to get on this one, but a dummy cannot write a story this dumb without mentioning it. There are 71 streets in Atlanta named Peachtree. All or none of them may or may not end up at the Atlanta Botanical Gardens after being lost for four hours. I learned this one the hard way, I eventually stupided myself to my destination, five minutes after it closed. Warning, do not put Peachtree into that little black box on your dash, smoke will come from it. Do not try to figure it out on an old fashioned, out of date map, smoke will come from that little black box between your ears. Do not ask the average person, on the sidewalk of Atlanta, for directions to Peachtree. I got, you’re on it, from at least a dozen and I don’t know, from fifty who were on various forms of it. If your destination is on Peachtree, you’re better off taking a right on 285 and just keep driving until you reach the end or run out of gas.
If you’re headed somewhere to have tests which will determine how long you have to live, it’s best to stop by the Varsity and have a few dogs instead. At least you’ll enjoy the last six months of your life instead of dying while lost on Peachtree. I’ve decided Atlanta designed Peachtree to keep the idiots from the rest of the state busy while in town. This keeps them from bothering state officials, who are too busy not making progress, to be bothered with us. Half the idiots in Georgia are constantly circling Atlanta on 285, those who escape it, end up circling inside Atlanta on Peachtree. If you doubt this, you’ve never driven on either.
How about these, Psycho, Path, Just A, Road, Nameless, Road, Chain Gang Creek, Road and Labor in Vain, Road, there are millions. Here, is a fascinating question for you. What is the most popular street name in America? Second Street, what is that about? Second Street is in first place, and First Street is in second place. I have given up on understanding what people are thinking. I understood all I needed to understand by the time I was in third grade. That’s when little boys notice that there is something different and intriguing about the little boy sitting next to them with the pig tails and pink dress. It’s pretty much all downhill from there. Of course, this is also when little girls notice there is something different, and revolting about the girl sitting next to them, with the cowlick and worn out jeans.
Most of us learn all we need to know by the third grade, future politicians go on to learn that the rest of us are dummies in the fourth grade and lobbyists go on to learn politicians are dummies in the fifth.
This story was inspired during a conversation with Mike and Judy Boyce at the Cobb County Library Foundations, Wild West Festival. Mike is attempting to become the Cobb County Chairman. I found his humor to be refreshing, and his determination to be inspiring. We joked about why the loop in Marietta is called the loop and not the snake and about why places and highways are named after people. Both of us fear our expansive notoriety may ensure that a public restroom is named for us in the future. Judy was delightful and displayed the consummate wit and charm one would expect from a true Southern Lady.
While Mike may go on to have many things named for him, I expect an old fallen down outhouse in Milledgeville might be as close as I come.