Dependence Day 2012

Last night we met my wife’s daughter and her friends on Collins Avenue, for a not so good dinner. The company was delightful; but the food was expensive and mediocre. Sounds like our government. Afterward we left Miami Beach, slightly tired, totally sober and dreading the fifty-five minute drive home.

Three and a half hours later we arrived. Now I’m not the brightest bulb in the box, but this extended trip had nothing to do with my inability to find my way home or any kind of time warp thingy. As we arrived on MacArthur Causeway, we were not attacked by zombies, but found ourselves trapped in, bumper to bumper traffic. It only moved at about five miles an hour when it bothered to move at all.

For over two hours, we sat in this traffic and we moved only three miles. I saw two wrecks, and at least thirty cars abandoned on the side of the road. They had probably overheated or simply run out of gas. Ellie Mae, my old car, was running on fumes, and I had an overwhelming desire to take care of that bodily function I should have taken care of before leaving the restaurant. Sorry, I had to do number one.

My wife and I enjoy our time together and spent it looking at cars and talking about what kind we might buy her. There were scattered road construction signs alongside the way, giving the impression this was actually road construction or perhaps a horrific wreck.

At the end, we found a small army of police officers who were converging three lanes down to one, then performing a sobriety check. How many people were late for work, dinners and other engagements? What would have happened if someone had gone into labor or had a heart attack? What if an eyeball eating zombie had decided to go on another rampage?

I know drunk driving is a problem, and I know it needs to be dealt with. Is this the way to do it? Must the freedom of the many, be so trampled, by the lack of responsibility of the few? Is this protect and serve or another example of fund raising in America?

I remember when there actually needed to be probable cause for your car or home to be searched. Now probable cause is more specifically described as prejudice and left up to the discretion of the officer on the scene. Common courtesy is also a thing of the past, as now anyone with a gun or some other form of civil authority can speak to you in any way they choose. Last night was a prime example of guilty until proven innocent.

I’ve been accused recently of complaining, isn’t that what all columnist do? It’s the only way we can shock the masses from their slumbering ignorance. Just because, your rights aren’t being trampled, at the moment, doesn’t mean you’re not next. I was told it serves no purpose to complain if you cannot offer solutions. If I or anyone else knew the answers, there would be no problems. Still, I’ll give it a go.

How about we start a second government, to ride shotgun over the current one? Someone needs to rein them in. Good lord that was a joke and not a particularly pleasant one. How about we destroy all the houses and build enough prisons to house everyone. If they only allow us to get out for work each day in a kind of work release program, just think of how much money could be saved. This would put an end to all our self righteous ideas about the freedom and rights we were born with. It would make things much easier for those redefining the constitution. I dare say we would become fabulous, fast friends with Russia, China, Cuba and those to the far left or right.

We have put man on the moon, how about a car that cannot be driven by a drunk person? We already have those annoying alarms.

“Please step away from the vehicle.” I hate those things. How about an alarm for those who don’t care about their own safety or the safety of others?

“Please step your ignorant, drunk rear end away from the vehicle.”

We have certainly lost so much of our personal freedom and any belief that we can make the simplest decisions on our own, that we won’t mind a car deciding if we are sober or smart enough to drive. You didn’t know I was going to add that smart enough thing in there. This part will keep the ignorant from driving and will bring DC to a standstill. This would be not far removed, from where it has been most of my life.

I’ll always remember where I was on July 4, 2012, I was on MacArthur Causeway celebrating dependence day.