I got a Tiger by the tail it’s plain to see!!!!! Whoa, it’s here where you should hear the zzzzzzziiiiiiiiiiiiipppppppp as the needle is dragged across the record. Goodgoogamooga what happened to Auburn? Didn’t they do something important last year, like win the national title or something? Our boys declawed, defanged, spayed, neutered, shampooed them and then wrapped them up with little pink bows around their necks. We expected Tony the Tiger on steroids, what we got, Garfield, Odie and friends on lasagna and beer. Was that the football team or the debate team in drag? Did they send the synchronized swimming team by accident?
I’ve never had a problem with the coach, but he could have done things a little different this time. He should have foregone the second, third and forth strings. He should have denied the custodians at Georgia the chance to play a few downs, he should have tried to stay awake during the second half and should have let the cheerleading squad get a little field time. It would have made the game a little closer and a lot more exciting. Not to mention the stories we could have written about it. It would have made history. The only thing more historic about New Mexico other than their recent lose to us was their having had a female field goal kicker who couldn’t kick field goals.
There will be Georgia alumni standing around with expensive dark beer in their hands, telling stories about this game for decades.
“I say, did you see that second quarter Lawrence?”
“Certainly, certainly Madison, that was my senior year, I was on the fifty, please prepare me another scotch and do you have any Gray Poupon?”
“Elementary my boy a glass of Glenroth’s and a little Gray Poupon, a Varsity chili dog and a ride in my Jaguar.”
“Precisely, precisely.
The papers reported fifty arrests after the game. They really needed to arrest all our boys for cruelty to animals, possibly even murder. P.E.D.A. is probably screaming somewhere today. We cannot place this disclaimer on footage of the game; No Cats were hurt during the making of this film. Okay so no one was physically abused, but the mental abuse might have lasting effects.
The Auburn players who are graduating this year will go on to be towel boys in the pros because of this game. The coaches probably woke up this morning with a hangover, drinking Alka Seltzer mixed with fake beer and tomato juice, trying to figure out where they were, how they got there and if they really played a football game on Saturday. Hopefully none of them woke up in red heels and a pink tutu, sorry, I guess its okay, if they like that sort of thing.
"The outcome is very disappointing and unacceptable, no question about that," said Coach Gene Chizik.
“My head hurts, where am I and who put me in this tutu?” Sorry that’s was a quote from a local politician not Coach Chizik. I got the stories confused for a moment.
"But when they're done dancing around and having a ball or whatever they're doing with the fans or in the locker room, when everybody settles down, then you've got to remind them of where we are, where we want to go and what we have to do to get there. I think we did a pretty good job of that in the locker room after the game." Now that really was a quote from coach Richt.
Now we must march on to Kaintucky, go ahead explain that Daniel Boone and I misspelled Kentucky. I see you with your hand thrust in the air, sit down and shut up. After what the Dawgs just did to auburn, don’t make me sick em on you. As far as I can ascertain from the internet, the team are descendants of Jethro Bodine who wandered into Kentucky after the Beverly Hillbillies was canceled, then couldn’t find his way back to Bugtussle. I hope the boys are better at cipherin than Jethro was.
Another team of Cats, what is it with cats and chickens? How can you take a coach named Joker serious? Now for some words of wisdom from the seat of simplicity, really what do you expect; he has a degree from Florida?
"I really thought before the season if you did go 6-2 and you beat Georgia, that would probably be good enough. But it ... doesn't look like it is."
"It looks like they're going to win the East now, so I congratulate them for winning seven in a row. You always hold out a little hope, but Georgia is playing awfully well now." Coach Spurrier
So here we go, time to dump out the Wildcats litter box and cat chow, see if they can figure out which is which and see what kind of trouble it causes them.
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