Prancing Political Peacocks

First, I write for several weekly papers and their deadlines dictate when my stories run. This may sometimes give the impression that I’m behind.

What exactly is a debate and does it actually have any merit? If you decide who to vote for by watching this farce, we are in more trouble than I imagined we were, and I have a powerful imagination backed by a wagon load of facts or more aptly a wagon load of manure.

This particular debate happened to be between Roboma and Obomney. Both were wearing suits which cost more than most of us make, in any three month period. The mediator was disrespected, and the rules of engagement were totally ignored. The questions, asked by Americans, were also passed over. Once a question was asked the candidates simply used it to segway into whatever point they wants to make, leaving the original question squirming in the gutter unanswered.

The question about gas prices proved both candidates lack of understanding for the average American’s plight. Obama turned it into an environmental issue and maybe it is. Romney turned it into one of Obama’s foremost failings, that’s sort of like blaming the gas rationing of the seventies on him. “The proof is at the pump.” Romney said. Gas pumps are similar to slot machines, or one armed bandits. Americans continue to pump in money and pull the handle, but like all other gambling establishments, the house always wins. Gas pumps are simply ticker tape ten ninety nine’s for big business, foreign investors and oil companies.

Romney promises not to raise taxes on all his friends in big business. That is a new concept never used by a politician before, be careful not to step in it. Romney promises to leave the taxes where they are on the upper class, and drop them on the middle class. What alternate reality is he living in? You can’t do both of those things. Does it truly matter? If they raise taxes on the upper class, as Obama recommends, the upper class then raises the prices of their products and the middle class pays whatever increase is imposed, in the end. To continue to say the rich pay over sixty percent of taxes is an insult to our intelligence. I still believe a flat tax is the only way to go.

“I know what a strong economy looks like.” Romney said. Where exactly did he see such an animal and why are we not treating him like all the other people who claim to have seen Sasquatch, UFO’s, Elvis and the Easter Bunny?

Both promised to get tough on China. Does that mean, as we’ve been getting tough on Iraq and Afghanistan? We cannot afford to get tough on China, neither will do it, and we better hope no one tries it in the future. China is cheating, Romney said. What, are you sure? Duh huh.

“We can’t afford another four years.” Romney said. I don’t think we can afford another four like the eight before. Romney was very sure to point out that he is no George Bush. Wait, until the debate Georgie was a hero, right? If I were Junior I would poke out my lips and then shrug and go back to trying to pound that square peg into the round hole.

Both candidates turned the question about immigration into one about classes. We want those who have skills and money to start small businesses, but not those chasing the American dream we are so proud of.

“Go after gangbangers not students.” Obama said. This was one of the best comments of the night. Romney’s take on this, seems to be, make the American dream such a nightmare that these people deport themselves because it will no longer be desirable to stay here. Where exactly do us poor Americans fit into this and what happens when our government purposely turns the American dream into a nightmare?

“The middle class is being crushed.” Romney said. This might have been the truest comment, from Romney, of the night.

 The question of gun control was answered by Romney with the idea of telling people who aren’t married they should not have babies, I’ve got an abstract mind, but even my mind could not make that trip. I got terrible news for both; a cheap hand gun and an AK both kill you just as dead.

Gun control is not the answer, we as a society must work together to stop the violence running rampant across America. Expecting the Government to do it is about as bright as expecting schools to raise our children. Child abuse, neglect, and as strange as it may seem, a severe lack of discipline for our kids, causes much of our violence, Fix the child, fix the future. How’s that for a political sound bite? No one talked about that, big surprise, they never do.

Taking Big Bird Out Back

Taking Big Bird Out Back

I want to thank the candidates for clearing up my complete misconceptions about our countries troubles and our political system. Apparently we as Americans are simply too dense to understand what is important.

Somehow I erroneously believed that our debt and particularly the part of it, we owe to China was a product of massive run away government spending, and it was Big Bird all along. I also believed it to be the result of wasteful and lavish spending by large corporations, but learned this week it is tied directly to The Cookie Monster and his affection for cookies. I am now aware that it has nothing to do with billion dollar bonuses for CEO’s or the bailouts we provide them which amounts to government subsidized perks for the rich and infamous.

I was under the impression the enormous salaries we pay the congress and senate were somehow contributing to the national debt, but it turns out that Mr. Rogers was actually the enemy. Funny I never heard Mr. Rogers speak Chinese.

I was stupid enough to believe that the insane state of the welfare system might be influencing the ongoing Chinese financing of America. Many people are already calling for welfare recipients to be drug tested before receiving benefits. Do these people understand how much such a program, if implemented, would cost? It would cost more to drug test them, than it would to simply pay the benefits. The next asinine thing I expect to see on the social media is this statement. A government study was released today which found that welfare recipients spend their days, stoned watching Big Bird and having sex, all at the same time.

     Of course, the conservatives hate NPR and their brand of political propaganda, and I don’t disagree that they are biased, but like Republicans and Democrats they are a necessary part of our system. They are also a necessary part of our educational system. Many children arrive in school without the basic knowledge needed to start school. How much worse would it be, without NPR, PBS, Big Bird and all their buddies?  Cutting funding for PBS, which is minuscule, would be like driving a stake into the heart of our educational system to stifle someone who disagrees with you politically.

I think that Romney will regret allowing this statement to escape his mouth for the rest of his short political career. I’m not saying I think Obama should win, I’m saying he will win.

The worst part of this and the part no one wants to admit to. The average American does not understand taxes. Many believe them to be some sort of government savings account and treat them as such. Many wait with crossed fingers for their yearly refund hoping it will buy them the car they need or pay for a family vacation. Most people listen to the horror stories about SSI and pray for its future, but have little understanding of it. The health care system is so complicated that many who have insurance would rather pay than try to wade through the muddy complicated waters involved in filing the paperwork.

Americans pay for insurance, but the system is so complicated and mired with false claim rejections that it can hardly be used by anyone without a degree. That will be the next prominent American rip off and lie, you’ll need a degree to file or sell insurance which will drive the costs even higher. Doctor’s now hire people to file insurance paperwork, if they didn’t they would never get paid. If you pay for insurance, shouldn’t the company help you file and make sure your doctor get his money so you don’t end up having to pay anyway? I remember when they called this customer service.

The fact that this Big Bird thing has become a key campaign point proves everything I’ve been saying for months. All politicians are relatively the same, and all of them will talk about everything, to avoid talking about anything. A debate that cost millions and is so crucial should never be allowed to turn into a political quagmire by Big Bird. I am truly scared for America. 

My point is this, Americans may not understand the above overly complicated systems, designed as smoke screens, to keep Americans in the dark, but they do understand Big Bird. Anyone who believes such a ludicrous idea like Big Bird is bad for America is drinking the equivalent of broccoli flavored Kool Aid and the worst part; he will convince others that it tastes yummy.  The candidate who threatens to take Big Bird out behind the barn, is the one who loses in America, sorry. The one who goes out back to stop the raised fist wins. Wait and see!!!