Chicken Poopie

Not another bunch of chickens, please. What is it about Carolinians and chickens? Did they misunderstand the question, what will your mascot be? Did they think they were being asked about dinner, it’s a good thing they didn’t say chitterlings, well actually chitterlings might have been better. How about Coastal Carolina Corn Dodgers?
Chanticleer is a famous cock from British literature, named for a French word, meaning sing clear. I don’t get it. Actually they took their name to emulate their parent college, you guessed it, The University of South Carolina, Gamecocks. Although they broke with the Gamegators in the early nineties, they can’t afford to change the names on the score boards or the five university trucks they own.
Did anyone decide to attend Coastal Carolina to be a Chanticleer? I think not, maybe they went to major in macramé or to be on the debate team. Okay maybe it was the debate team that came up with the name. Wait, maybe it was a literature class, it’s a good thing they weren’t studying Jonathan Swift or they might have been call the Lilliputians, hummm, that’s better too. Football was probably created there, simply because some parent, who really wanted a boy, made them start the program. Imagine being their first coach. He had to tour the campus and figure out who might make good football players, his choices, a bunch of basket weavin, pottery makin, debatin, macramé and dance majors. I imagine he rolled his eyes when he found out what their name would be and was probably looking for a job from that moment on. He might have quit on the spot, but their synchronized swim team already had a coach and the last team he coached, the Mississippi Mud cats had already replaced him with Al Gore.
Things are looking up for Coastal, I heard they were looking to hire a new coach and have several good prospects. Rosie O’Donnell, Charlie Sheen, Lady Gaga and Paris Hilton have all applied and are actually fighting for the job. So they’ll need to do a reality show, Who’ll Coach Coastal, to make the decision. All of them need only be their annoying selves to be in the running, if it comes down to a fist fight for it, it’ll be between Charlie and Rosie and my money’s on Rosie.
Holy moly, they’re 2-0 and we’re 0-2, the world is upside down, but it’s been upside down before. Last week we spent the entire game beating up on some chickens that ended up making chicken salad out of chicken poopie, this week we’re going to make chicken poopie out of chicken salad. Those little white spots in chicken poopie, are after all, still chicken poopie. I’ll be at Loco’s with some new friends again this week, but hopefully with different results. This week, we and the Dawgs will be having BBQ chicken in the early afternoon. Gooooooo Dawgs and coach we’re still behind you.