Okay so my column proves, on a regular basis, that I only have a few brain cells. Still they occasionally dance together and produce something interesting. Sometimes I wish I did not possess those brain cells as those of us who have them continue to pay the price for those who do not.
I have a little job and on that job safety is a major concern. I’ve lived to be fifty years old, not a small feat in this day and time. Somehow I just don’t think I’m going to nick my finger on this late date and die from it. Still at work we must wear gloves and safety glasses regardless of what we are doing. Why, because people are just too stupid to wear them when they need to. Good workers are fired on a regular basis for not wearing them as the ones too stupid to do the job are kept, because they are cattle. We continue to pay the price daily for the dumbing down of America. In our day, if you were dumb, we moved you out of the way and went on without you. Now they put you in management. Okay I guess things haven’t changed that much. I’ve seen way too much over the years, including a twenty-three hundred pound torpedo falling on a friend in the Navy. It was hard to tell where the hard hat and safety glasses ended and where his head began, sorry.
Recently in Virginia a man passing under a red light noticed a camera flash. He looked down and realized he was running slightly over the speed limit. He decided the wisest course of action was to circle the block and make another pass at, the speed limit. After this pass and another flash he decided a third pass was required at a slower speed. Three passes, three flashes, he went on his merry or possible stupid way. Three weeks later he received three tickets for driving with no seat belt. At this point I would have been too embarrassed to say a word. I believe I would have paid all three and tried to forget just how stupid I was. I might have had to go to counseling, as it might have been the first indication, I ever had of my impending death from stupidity. After all people go to jail and literally die from stupidity every day. I don’t think stupidity actually kills anyone, it needs a little help.
I know that cigarettes might eventually do me in, but I keep smoking. If it happens, well, I will die from stupidity, slowly. Others need a little more help, after all stupidity has many levels. Mixing drinking with many activities increases your chances of stupiding yourself to death. Drinking and driving, a popular American past time is a bad idea, drinking and cleaning your gun is another.
“What is that lodged in the barrel there?” Yeah get you some of that.
If your friend has to help you from your chair to get on a four wheeler and you must reprimand him for spilling your beer, you need safety glasses, gloves and your mother had one too many sons. Your parents should have stopped and saved America the trouble in the first place.
Okay so I been to court a couple times and both times the judge listened to the facts quietly. The next words from his mouth were.
“I’m going to make an example out of you Mr. Taylor.” Not words you want to hear in a courtroom, you’ll need to trust me on this one. Why does this happen to me? I am too smart to get into trouble and the judge knows it. We the people who have just enough brain cells to get by are held to a higher standard and it kind of sucks. Sometimes I need to be a little more stupid than I am. If I’m going to be stupid, I want to be too stupid to know I’m stupid, hey it works well for so many in our Country, I could embrace it. There really needs to be a new test for driver’s license, one that definitively determines if you are smart enough to drive. Just because you answer the question about driving while eating, texting on the phone, reading the paper or putting on your make up, correctly, doesn’t mean you know it’s stupid.
So back to our friend, he went to court to prove to as many people as possible how stupid he was. The judge threw out two of the three tickets after laughing at this idiot for an undetermined amount of time. If it had been me, he would have made me pay five tickets instead of three and probably would have given me a little vacation in the county jail.
No comments:
Post a Comment